Welcome & Brief History

Welcome to Jellybean's blog!!!

If you are here, you are likely a friend or family member who is aware that our first pregnancy unexpectedly went terribly wrong on July 31, 2009. The road since Gracie's death has been bumpy, winding and long - and it is safe to say that we would not have survived without the love and support of family and friends. We still have huge, gaping holes in our hearts, and we continue to work through our grief and the wide range of emotions that come with it on a daily basis. Not a day goes by that we do not think about her and miss her terribly. Her death has opened our eyes to an entirely new corner of reality. It is something that we will never get over, but it is something that we have learned to accept as our reality. It is something that will always be part of our lives, and the lives of her younger siblings.

Over the last few months, with the help of our doctors, we have been able to piece together a pretty strong theory about what caused Gracie's demise. For those who are not up to speed on the details of her pregnancy or the theory about her demise, here is the abridged version...

• The first trimester screen was positive for Gracie being at risk of having Down Syndrome. Specifically, the probability was 1:47. (Normal risk for a mother my age was about 1:500 to 1:600) We did not have an amniocentesis done, as we had no plans to terminate the pregnancy regardless of the diagnosis.
• Aside from this, most of the pregnancy was uneventful. I went into the pregnancy with an existing diagnosis of chronic hypertension, but my blood pressure was pretty good for most of the pregnancy, and wasn't really overly problematic. I also developed acute gall bladder problems 2 weeks before she was born.

• It is strongly believed, based on the results of the first trimester screen and other postpartum information, that Gracie did have either Trisomy 18 or Trisomy 21.
• Gracie's placenta was smaller than it should have been, which is not uncommon when chromosomal abnormalities come into play.
  
• The Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist that we consulted with feels that the small placenta probably led to undetected placental insufficiency, which in turn led to undetected Intrauterine Grown Restriction, which is likely the cause of her death.

There was a postpartum mix-up, and unfortunately no chromosomal analysis was done, so we will never know for sure if there was a chromosomal abnormality. We are, however, pretty comfortable with this theory, as most of the details seem to fit together pretty well.



All of this said, we will get down to the real reason that you are all here. After seven positive home pregnancy tests and a positive blood test, it appears that Gracie is going to be a big sister!!! It is still very early, but we are keeping our fingers crossed that this little Jellybean sticks and will come home with us some time in mid to late September!!! We know that many friends and family members will be holding their breath with us over the next eight months, so we figured that we would do a little blog to keep everyone updated. (This way we don't have to post constant updates on FB and people who are not on FB can also follow along.)

Thanks for following along with our journey to bring a living baby home to join our family!!